Hypothyroidism
I learned recently I suffer from hypothyroidism. Sucks. I’m just so always tired, no energy at all. If I have to do something, I have to speak to myself and find some sort of positive side to it, otherwise I can’t do anything.
The symptoms are weird: lack of energy, insomnia, weight loss/gain, leg/joint/muscle pain (for me that’s the worst), feels like you are depressed, burnt-out, emotionally unstable, grumpy, everything seems like a mountain, etc… It is often misdiagnosed as depression, burn-out, imaginative disease, etc…
Everyone (doctors, people I met who suffer from it also, websites & chats) agrees that its easy to treat (medically and not), that the medication prescribed will take somewhere between 11 days & 8 weeks to take effect and that the reaction to the medication will be awesome. I am suppose to feel my energy coming back like never before. It’s been a month so far, and I don’t feel a change. Only one month to go.
The analogy I give people is the following:
- I feel like I went camping by myself in the woods and were suddenly attacked by a wolf.
- The blood-sucking prick is gone by all my stuff is destroyed, and I’m badly hurt.
- I have to walk to the nearby village where I know I’ll be safe & sound.
- But the walk there is painful.
- And as I am making progress, I’m mad at myself and feeling guilty at the same time. If the wolf-eating analogy were real, I’d probably say to myself: “Why the hell did I go camping in the woods by myself, leaving the garbage by the tent, not bringing some sort of a emergency radio handset, sat-phone or even a GPS beacon for people to find me.”
- I am mad at myself for not having the energy to go through my day, for being guilty (feeling guilty of feeling guilty, for christ’s sake!), nervous about not knowing when this will end, while knowing it will all be better soon.
Anyways, that’s been the feeling experienced since the diagnostic came in a month ago. And the few months before were quite the same.
So, as a positive side to this (everyone knows I am a positive), here’s a small graph that shows we can’t have everything. So, we’ll see what I’ll end up with! :)
